On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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