Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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