The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
