Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
