I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
