Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
