Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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