i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you win again, gameday.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
