I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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