Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
