i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize