My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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