wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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