He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
