did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
