My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
