jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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