I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
