She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
