Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
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There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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