I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
