walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
