Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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