We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
