It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
