Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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