I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I CAN MOONWALK!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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