I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
