You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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