Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just want to make out with him forever
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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