slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
