i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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