you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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