i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
