When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
