we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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