My friends, they love my intelligence
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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