honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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