There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
