I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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