How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
