I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
