Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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