Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
