Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
