Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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