I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
