Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
