STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
