So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
