bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
