question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
