hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
