My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
