Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
