My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
