I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
